June 2013
“are you a boy or a girl?”
“no”
“yeah but what were you BORN as?”
*leans in and whispers* “fabulous”
if im playing mario kart with you and you use a blue shell on me then im calling the police
due to low self esteem if someone is hitting on me i probably wouldn’t even be able to tell unless they directly said “i love you and want to date you” and even then i would be a little skeptical
having sex with someone is always a threesome when you have god in the room
do you know what would look good inside of you? ;) a fucking bullet bye
if you ever feel sad, just remember that the first ever cloned cat in existence
was named copycat
they saw the opportunity and they took it
“you wanna see my breasts” i say seductively to my boyfriend. i unbutton my shirt to reveal two large, succulent cuts of meat. i am a chicken. why do i have a boyfriend. why am i wearing clothes
i don’t care what anyone says sex is great and don’t let people shame you into thinking it’s not
will.i.am changes his name to am.i.will? he is struggling with an identity crisis.
WOAH INTERESTING QUESTIONS PLEASE
- 01: tell me the truth, what made you start liking the person you like right now?
- 02: what on your body is hurting or bothering you?
- 03: what was your last thought before going to bed last night?
- 04: what are you listening to?
- 05: what’s something you’re not looking forward to?
- 06: where do you think your best friend is right now?
- 07: have you kissed anybody in the last five days?
- 08: sex on the first date?
- 09: kiss on the first date?
- 10: is there one person you want to be with right now?
- 11: are you seriously happy with where you are in life?
- 12: is there something you would like to say to someone?
- 13: what are three things you did today?
- 14: would you rather sleep at a friend’s or have them over?
- 15: what is your favorite kind of gum?
- 16: are you friends with any of your ex boyfriends/ girlfriends?
- 17: what is on your wrists right now?
- 18: ever liked someone you thought you didn’t stand a chance with?
- 19: does anyone have strong feelings for you?
- 20: are you slowly drifting away from someone?
- 21: have you ever wasted your time on someone?
- 22: can you do the alphabet in sign language?
- 23: how have you felt today?
- 24: you receive £60 without any reason, what do you spend it on?
- 25: what is wrong with you right now?
- 26: is there anyone you’re really disappointed in?
- 27: would you rather have starbucks or jamba juice right now?
- 28: why aren’t you in ‘love’ with your last ex anymore?
- 29: how late did you stay up last night and why?
- 30: when was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?
- 31: what were you doing an hour ago?
- 32: what are you looking forward to in the next month?
- 33: are you wearing jeans right now?
- 34: are you a patient person?
- 35: do you think you can last in a relationship for three months?
- 36: favorite color?
- 37: did you have a dream last night?
- 38: are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants, or pajama pants?
- 39: if someone could be cuddling you right now, who would you want it to be?
- 40: do you love anyone who is not related to you?
- 41: if someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you?
- 42: do you like meeting new people?
- 43: are you afraid of falling in love?
- 44: ever self-harmed or starved yourself?
- 45: has anyone ever told you that you have pretty eyes?
- 46: have you ever felt like you weren’t good enough?
“close enough”
—anyone who’s ever tried to even out their eyeliner. (via eatyourpie)
my dad pays 98% of my car bill and insurance bill and when he needs help i have absolutely no issue with paying and he just called me and said he needs help and he needs $200
okay that’s fine no problem
then i check my email and got my school bill costing me $800
my bills this month will cost me $1000 i’m actually sobbing right now
